An inflammatory title, a bright orange cover, discussions about cannolis and BJs– how is this a self-help book, again?
I was recommended this book by a friend (who wasn’t?) that found it enlightening in a brash way. From the back cover and interesting title, I thought it may be up my ally. I can be a relatively abrasive New Jerseyan at times, so perhaps, I thought, this could give me some “real talk” I needed to get me out of a productivity slump I was in. Couldn’t hurt, right?
Personal Values
Manson challenges the reader to find their innate “life values.” With some soul searching, I narrowed mine down to 5 things:
-Honesty
-Curiosity/ intelligence
-Loving family & friends
-Being a productive member of society
-Organization/ resourcefulness
This helps me now “give less f*cks” to things that don’t roll up into any of those over arching values. Infuriating comment on company Facebook page? Deal with the problem from a logical standpoint and keep working– don’t get emotionally involved. Only care about what is “true, immediate, and important.”
Things that are f*ck worthy: my family, my health, my personal productivity, staying true (honest) with myself and those I care about, staying curious and always learning.
Just Be
He reminds the reader to not get entangled with comparisons, particularly in the media and on social networks; yet another f*ck to slough off. In quoting Albert Camus,
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life,”
Manson summarizes with “don’t try.” I believe this could alternately be replaced with “just be,” a more positive mindfulness mantra. This is at odds with human nature; when a human has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some. Instead of letting the mind wander with invented worries (in my case, it’s usually household chores and existential dread), we should examine our values to find meaning and importance in our lives to put our energy and time toward.
Mo’ Problems, Mo’ Happiness
The most honest bits of the book are probably the best. Manson does not bury the effort that it takes to succeed (and fail) at anything. He claims (correctly, if you ask me) that in order to succeed, you can’t just “love the result, you must love the process.” This echos that old mantra of “if you do something you love you’ll never work a day in your life.” Manson faces problems head on– really. Life is problems, according to Manson, you just must choose which problems you are happy to continue solving. As mentioned previously, an idle mind will still find things to worry about; the mind needs problems to fix. So why not take the bull by the horns and find some problems you want to challenge?
Average Joe
He does not sugar coat anything, particularly the fact that we are, generally speaking, all average. And THAT’S OK. It’s only a problem when we compare ourselves to the outliers in the media that we start to feel terrible. This rolls back up into “don’t try” and you can feel happy. Just “be” you; don’t compare yourself to others. Make your own metrics.
Get Writing
This is advice I’ve heard before: “200 crappy words per day” and this will motivate better work to follow. Fighting Newtons first law is the hardest part, but once motivated to get off the couch and actually DO something, other good things will follow.
Advice In Motion
It’s been about a week since finishing the book and besides ironing out my values, I’ve tried to put the “give less f*cks,” “200 crappy words,” and “don’t try” theories to work. So far, I’ve seemed to lower my stress, get more reading done, figure out how to organize better for me (daily tasks–vs a big to do list– put my mind at ease– how did I not think of that sooner?), and have even been doing more exercise. It’s only been a week, but just the fact that my mind is more at ease makes me want to continue following these methods. The professional and external personal benefits are just gravy.
Overall: The writing may be abrasive but the messages ring true for those seeking a solid kick in the butt to get working. 3.75/5 f*cks given.
Julie C. Stoltz 